Saturday, April 05, 2008

Where March Went

Though my blogging has certainly slowed down lately, I had not intended to let almost a whole month go by between posts. But despite the fact that I write blog posts in my head on a regular basis, I haven't been able to find the time to actually write them with, you know, actual typed words. Perhaps you received them telepathically?

Life has felt unusually busy ever since the beginning of the year, and I don't know quite what to attribute it all to. The Co-Op Preschool that my boys are in this year has been a wonderful experience - and also more demanding of my time than I had ever imagined (with two children in the school, I have two volunteer jobs, one of which is Membership Coordinator, which at certain times of the year - like January/February/March - takes an unbelievable amount of time). My actual paid job is always busy, but in some ways has been busier these last few months. I am also apparently trying to find a new balance in my life - trying to actually tend to things I usually avoid (like finances, house maintenance, housecleaning, and the like). This was not intentional but certainly not unwelcome. It also takes time. I will blame it on my current yoga practice, which has seemed to be all about balance lately (not only in the physical sense) and has somehow helped create a shift on a deeper level of consciousness for me. Who knew that yoga would end up leading me to clean the kitchen more thoroughly? I didn't.

In the midst of everything else, there was a sudden and tragic death in my extended family right before Easter. My 24 year-old cousin Blake - honestly the sweetest, most innocent person I've ever known - was killed in an explosion on my aunt and uncle's farm right before Easter. I drove to North Carolina for the funeral with my boys last week, and it was really good to be with family, but also really sad. The fact of his death doesn't get any more believable, or any less awful. I have felt vunerable and a bit fragile lately, and not much like blogging even if I had had the time (which I haven't).

That doesn't seem much like happy crafty blog fodder, does it? But I just needed to let you know that I'm here. I'm still crafting, though that has certainly taken a hit as my life tries to lean more towards this strange thing called "balance" (I get loads more knitting done when I'm less balanced and more, say, obsessive). I have lots of show-and-tell to do, much of it old news, plenty of it now in hibernation. But I've got to start somewhere. I'll be trying to get back into regular posting in the next day or two, and I hope some of you are still out there.

15 comments:

Mintyfresh said...

so sorry to hear about your cousin. that's so devastating.

nice to know you're doing okay though! my google reader will be waiting patiently for your return.

goodkarma said...

I'm so sorry about your cousin. It must still seem so unreal that he is gone...

There's some kind of time warp once you become a parent, isn't there? A month can be gone before you blink your eyes; a day can last for ages. :) Welcome back to your blog. I know all about the mental blogging for sure!

zigzagstitch said...

So sorry to hear about your cousin. What a terrible tragedy. Balance is definitely necessary and I'm glad you're finding it.

Sharon said...

{{hugs}} to you. I'm sorry about your cousin.

Yes, life has a way of consuming us, doesn't it? Take your time, chica. We'll all be here when you return.

schrodinger said...

Of course we're still here. Sorry it's been a tough few months for you. Your cousins death is so tragic and untimely. My thoughts are with you and your family and I'll still be here when you get back.

amy said...

I'm so sorry about your cousin.

Camping Jason said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin.

I can't believe it's April already myself. At least that means the weather is nicer!

Rebekah said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin! Glad to hear that you're okay and that you're learning to balance everything so well!

mames said...

my heart and prayers go to you and your family for your loss. it is interesting what you wrote about balance, i find it eluding me lately and needed to hear what you wrote. thank you.

Paige said...

I like that bit about writing blogs in your head, but them not getting to the computer - that's so me. I also tend to share that trait of unbalance (ie - housework avoidance and the like). Hey, atleast we're aware of the changes need to be made. :)

On another note, I am very sorry about your cousin. He is the same age as me. I know what it's like to lose someone, and yet, I still never know what to say. I don't think there are words for such permanent sorrow.

Songbird said...

Still here, still holding you in prayer.

cath said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

I've missed your thoughtful posts and look forward to your return, balanced or not!

TracyKM said...

I'm so sorry to read about your cousin's tragic passing. I can't imagine the grief and shock you must be feeling.
I'll try to receive your posts telepathically if you try to receive mine. They'll usally come around 12:30pm or 2:45pm. Or, there's the late night version around 11pm, EST.
I have found the "FLYLady" to be helpful in getting some balance in my life. I feel less resentful towards the housework, and less guilty when I do sit and knit.

Zarah said...

Balance is good. Take care of yourself - you'll still pop up in my bloglines whenever you have time to post!

Mary Beth said...

Praying for you, friend. Glad to read you again.

Fascinated by the yoga / clean kitchen relationship.